i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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