On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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