just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
