how can u be prego again
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
