i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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