You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize