So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
