it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
