Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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