Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
