Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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