you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
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she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize