You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I've blown a few things in my day
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
