Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
