Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Randomize
