I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
