in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
