Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize