Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
