I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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