so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
