So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
