and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
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I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
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i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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