Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
farters have to be the big spoon...
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
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It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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