So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
