they need to just BURY HIM!
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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