did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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