We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
