I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
