He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your like the ambassador to my penis.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize