my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
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