have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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