I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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