ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
