And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
