How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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