I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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