Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize