I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize