Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
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