...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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