i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
