Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
