Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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