Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
