dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
