I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
