how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
