I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
You smell like stripper and shame
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
