Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize