I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
