anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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