Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
He has the fingertips of a God
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