Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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