And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
