She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
