Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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