You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
We're not piercing ourselves today.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
