we're chasing vodka with high fives
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Life is so much better after having sex.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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