how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Randomize
